Best in Show? The Cats Have Opinions

A Rainbow Connection Farm series — hosted by the cats

Part One: Dorian Reviews Catwalk: Tales from the Cat Show Circuit

(with special guest reactions from Terrapin and Finn)

This week's pick: Catwalk: Tales from the Cat Show Circuit (2018) Genre: Documentary Runtime: 1h 17m Rating: 🐾🐾🐾🐾 out of 5 paws

"I watch a lot of television from this exact couch cushion, so I consider myself a discerning critic. This documentary is about humans who groom cats for a living, which I support in theory but have no personal use for."

What Dorian thought: The second Bobby the Turkish Angora appeared mid-blowout, Terrapin — who spends approximately 100% of his waking life chasing something — locked onto the screen like it had personally wronged him. Full stalking crouch, tail twitching, one dramatic lunge directly at Bobby's face that connected with nothing but the TV stand. Dorian did not move from the couch for this. Dorian rarely moves for anything.

Finn, meanwhile, used the entire runtime as an excuse to be exactly where he always wants to be: pressed against somebody. He watched maybe four minutes of actual footage and spent the rest purring into a shoulder, which is, frankly, a valid critical response.

Kim Langille's "if you're not number one, you're the first loser" got a slow, unimpressed blink from Dorian, who has never competed for anything in his life and sees no reason to start.

Best moment: Terrapin's failed ambush on Bobby. 10/10 effort, 0/10 execution.

Most disappointing moment: No cat in this documentary has, as far as we can tell, ever lived in a box. A glaring oversight.

Would the cats recommend it? Yes — mostly for the grooming footage, which held Terrapin's attention longer than anything has since the last time a moth got into the house.

Final verdict: 🐾🐾🐾🐾 out of 5 — docked one paw for zero cardboard content.

A heartfelt thank-you, courtesy of Mama Kat:

A huge thank you to our friends Jennifer and Jefferson for the incredibly generous gift of a giant cat tree. It is tall, it is sturdy, it has multiple levels, and it was clearly picked out with a lot of thought and love. We are so grateful.

Also, it came in an enormous box, and that box has now been declared sovereign territory. Mama Kat took one look at the fully assembled, beautifully carpeted cat tree, walked directly past it, and got in the box. Astro tried the tree. Astro liked the tree fine. Astro also tried the box and has not been seen on the tree since. We regret to inform Jennifer and Jefferson that the tree is, at this time, purely decorative.

If you'd also like to send a box — sorry, a donation — you can do that at rainbowcfarm.org/donate